The old fears rumble around these days. Clawing, grasping at my thoughts, seeking to nest in my heart and tell me He’s not paying attention.
Last week I read something a writer friend submitted to our critique group. Funny, isn’t it? The way He breaks in and says, “Yoo-hoo! I’m here and I am paying attention.”
This is what Binsey wrote:
Sometimes the hard trials don’t go away. We pray. We claim. We quote. We get others to pray, to claim, to quote. And when all our best Biblical Christian tools appear to fail we cry for understanding, “God, what are You doing?”
The Lord God Almighty answers, “The silver is mine and the gold is mine. The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house. And in this place I will grant peace.” Haggai 2:8
After reading her words I recognize the honest assessment that even when we do all the right things, repeatedly, sometimes nothing changes. Oh, how we want the quick change, the immediate answer.
I had a vision the other morning just as I was waking up. (I can’t call it a dream because I wasn’t asleep). I was in a large mall that had at least two levels. Wolves were chasing me. Though I never saw their faces, I felt 
their presence and knew they were coming for me.
I looked up to see Jesus on the Down Escalator and ran to Him. He enfolded me in His robes just as the two wolves passed on the Up Escalator. As they went by, He just smiled and waved. They never even knew I was there.
Then the words to the Hillsong United song came to me:
Oh, I’m running to Your arms
I’m running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares with Your embrace
Light of the World
Forever reign.
I lay there grinning in the half light of morning.
Am I afraid right now – for Dori, for Texas? Yes, I am afraid. But I know God understands that and doesn’t rebuke me for the fear.
Instead, He instructs me, He leads me away from it with words like these:
When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You. ~Psalm 56:3
When you lie down, you will not be afraid;
When you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.Do not be afraid of sudden fear
Nor of the onslaught of the wicked when it comes;
For the Lord will be your confidence
And will keep your foot from being caught. ~Proverbs 3:24-26
I’m not sure what the vision meant other than to give me a better picture than the ones I’ve been running through my head. And to remind me that the end is always more glorious than the beginning when we walk with Him. And that He grants peace.
Maybe He just gave me a way to wave at wolves and grin in the dark.
So powerful. Made me feel so blessed that I have a Savior to run to. What would I do without Him? I shudder to think.
Cathee, a disturbing e-mail arrived in my mailbox at 11:11 this morning. One that caused me to feel like someone punched me in the gut and I felt nausea rise up in me. Fear? You bet! At 11:45 your e-mail arrived and I could feel the breath of the wolves behind me and yet He allowed your words to minister and remind me that the riches of His love will always be enough. I may “wobble” around here for awhile, but I will not fall over. I stand on His Word and promises.
Thanks pal, I love you.
Isn’t it such grace, Fran? Binsey’s words came just as I needed them, and strengthened me to pass them on to you with my addition, and they came just in the nick of time. It’s all so orchestrated with such a loving hand, if only we had eyes to see and ears to hear. Thank God, we’re learning. You are in my prayers today – for this matter and all the others – and the Shepherd will protect these sheep in His care. Keep laughing at those wolves. Remember how scared they are of you, my friend. I love you to bits.
I have pondered often why some are given almost more than they can bear in what seems to be a relentless stream of challenges. Then I read in one of the oldest devotionals going by LB Cowman in Streams in the Desert the following and it gives me hope. “For those who suffer the most, yield the most. And it is through pain that God gets the most out of us, for His glory and for the blessing of others. We must believe that God is preparing us for events and ministries that lie unseen beyond the veil of the eternal world, where spirits like tempered steel will be required for special service. So do not be afraid of suffering or defeat. It is through being struck down but not destroyed and through being broken to pieces and those pieces being torn to shreds, that we become people of strength. And it is the endurance of one believer that produces a multitude.” My dear friend…just continue to take it all in stride. One foot in front of the other being fully present in the moment. God is very obviously preparing you for a grand assignment. It is from suffering that the strongest souls ever known have emerged. We all all watching and you are doing exactly what the Lord desires.
Love you so much!
This was so perfect for us right now! I am so thankful for the strength and encouragement we receive both directly from the Lord and through those who love Him and are a tangible source of his love and grace right here. We’ll be ‘waving at wolves’ tomorrow and the days to come-thank you for the perfect visual!! Praying for you, too – love you gal….
Won’t we have some stories to share of His marvelous grace?!
What a powerful message, and one that we desperately need in these perilous day.
Thanks for sharing,
Sue
I am a little late reading your blog so I enjoyed your words along with all the comments. Praise God for fear – to draw us right into our Savior’s arms. How those wolves seem to come close enough almost to nip at me but my Lord is ‘cloaking’ me like a shield of armor so I’ll never feel their bite.