Sunshine and Mockingbirds

The haunting is always there, lurking in the backstreets of my thoughts. Will she make it till the end of April when she goes into Collier County Jail?

Or will I wake one night to the insistent ringing of my iPhone, knowing before I answer that calamity has come?

Most women I know struggle against anxious thoughts and nagging worries. If not our children or making the car payment, it’s our marriage or the future of our nation. There are plenty of things to ascribe our fears to.

And yet the Bible makes this insane statement, this ridiculous command from the lips of Paul – who had no children as far as any of us know.

Do not be anxious about anything! (Philippians 4:6)

Can you even imagine living like that?

When I walk in the early mornings, sometimes there’s a light fog on the lake or lingering in the tall grasses of the empty land across the street. A cool breeze lifts my spirit and then I hear him. The grey and white wonder of birdsong filling the morning air just as the sun breaks through and drives away the mist.

Most of my life I’ve awakened to sunshine and mockingbirds. They are the symbols of my state and possess the power to gladden the heart.

It is said that Jesus was the gladdest person who ever lived. Can you fathom how that could be so? Didn’t He know from the beginning what His end would be? Didn’t He already understand, roasting fish and baking bread around the fire at night, that disaster loomed on the horizon?

Then how could these words be ascribed to Him?

Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You? with the oil of joy above (more than)Your fellows. Psalm 45:7

I want that to be true of me – No.Matter.What.

Smear some of that oil of gladness on me!

Please, God, don’t let me play the martyr, or mewl about how hard it is and “if you only knew….” That kind of whimpering disgusts me.

I’m no martyr and if you offered me a way out of this burden, I’d be tempted to trade almost anything for that freedom.

But here’s what I know: I can, this very day, choose to live fully alive to this moment. I can choose to capture and appreciate as much beauty as can be held in one heart at one time. I can be glad of so many things and I can count them and read what I’ve counted and thank Him for each one. And I can share them with you.

Doing that, living like that, will make me like Him and that is always the goal after all, isn’t it?

Everywhere I look – sunshine and mockingbirds. And it’s a gorgeous day!