Scraping, harsh words. They bite into my thoughts this morning and I’m surprised at what the Spirit shows me.
Your lamb shall be an unblemished male a year old…then the whole assembly of the congregation of Israel is to kill it at twilight. Exodus 12:6 NASB
The perfect lamb – innocent, unblemished, quiet before those who will slay. The story is familiar to both Jews and Christians.
To the one, their Passover Lamb. The holiday printed on my calendar two days ago. Still observed these thousands of years later though no blood is smeared on lintels today.
The other, my own savior Lamb. Perfect, innocent, unblemished, quiet before the judges who would order his crucifixion. His blood smeared on me.
But that isn’t so much what quickened to my heart when I read this morning.
The past days of tortuous decisions, twisting at the heart, testing the motives; they called for a hard obedience. I’m drained and empty and the nagging thought keeps pushing against reason, “Did you do the right thing?”
Saying No to someone you love deeply is a hard and grating thing. But there comes a time when the line must be drawn, when your grace runs out, when even he says No. Maybe that’s why those words caught at me so this morning.
But as I let my feelings settle and his love wash over the ache, I saw another message in those exacting words. It led me to this scripture that seemed to soften the first one.
May my prayer be counted as incense before You; The lifting up of my hands as the evening offering. – Psalm 141:2 NASB
And it seemed as if the Spirit said, “When you read this evening at twilight on the dock, why not let me put to death all those struggles and the pain of the last few days? As you give all those cares to me, I will count it as incense before me. Throw out your hands and release it all and it will become your evening offering.”
And that is exactly what I plan to do. Kill it at twilight.
I so loved this! I too will kill it at twilight! Why do we hang on to the hard things that want to break us when he will carry it for us? Sometimes, I think I am just selfish in a sick way to continue to my own drum.
Maybe sometimes we just need permission. That’s okay to let it go and move on.
Permission is granted.
Death, never easy. I will put to death the dreams, all the dreams that were mine but not His. His plans are perfect. Death, then the Resurrection!
Always, the blessed resurrection.
Oh how your words pierced my heart. I hurt for you. Yet, your words of ‘resurrection through reconciliation’ helped me gain a new freedom . . . at twilight! As the words, ‘woulda, shoulda, coulda’ haunt me at all the wrong times, all I need to do is release them at twilight in the same way as the “Sacrificial Lamb” was released from life so that death would pass over us. Thanks, again, for your wisdom from God through the Holy Spirit.
Giving “it” a specific time…not just a vague general releasing… is really good. Thanks for sharing your inspiration.
Thank you for all you do in His name
I pray the pain has been put to ‘death’ – if not completely, at least it will be joined by something ‘new’. My heart breaks with you and we keep praying! Thank you for constantly sharing – it means more than you know! With love
It is finished! And peaceful relief flooded in. All is well.
Beautiful.
Thank God for the killing at twilight so many years ago, especially because it made possible the more resent evening offerings so sweet. Joy came in the morning. There could be no one who understands you more than I do and I love you. We are in this battle together. To God be the glory!
I would never have made it this far without you and Jesus. But I raise my Ebenezer…!